Not Such a good session!

geoff862
Nov 14
3 min read

Can I keep my personal life separate from my professional life?

I’m honestly not sure.

Tough times

Things are tough outside the gym right now—no dramatic tale of woe for you, just… tough. And I’m the kind of person who wears his heart on his sleeve. I try to hide what’s going on, but honestly? I’m terrible at it.

And my emotional state doesn’t stay locked away. It shows up.

I get short-tempered. I demand higher standards… without always giving the patience those standards need and I react emotionally instead of coaching technically.

Meanwhile, the kids I coach are the complete opposite of where I’m at. Bubbly. Loud. Full of personality. Confident—even arrogant sometimes. None of that is inherently bad, but when I blurt out things like, “You’ve got an attitude,” what am I actually telling them?

Nothing.

Everyone has an attitude. What matters is whether it’s productive and respectful. That’s where the clash has been coming from. Recently something felt disrespectful—and not for the first time—and instead of guiding them through it, I reacted from frustration.

That one’s on me.

So I’m changing my approach

These same athletes keep testing me, and clearly whatever I’ve tried so far hasn’t landed. So next week, I’m trying something different.

I’ll dump my thoughts into AI, get everything out of my head, and build a detailed, written session plan for the full 60 minutes I have with them. Their skill level deserves more time, but there’s only so much space, money and time, So we work with what we got.

A clear plan. Clear guidance. A proper structure.

Because this last session didn’t have structure at all—and, somewhat embarrassingly, it fell apart right at the beginning.

I didn’t gather the group.

I didn’t outline the plan.

I didn’t ask if everyone was OK—something I usually do.

Without that foundation, how are they supposed to know that working properly through the early drills gets them to the skills they’re excited about? From their perspective, I probably looked like I was holding them back. In reality, it just wasn’t safe to progress.

And when their attitude isn’t productive, everything slows down because I’m juggling corrections and emotional de-escalation instead of coaching.

The truth is: I set us off on the wrong foot, and recovering from that was nearly impossible.

My plan for next time

To get us all back on track, I’m going back to basics:

1. Have clear plans for every athlete.

Even if it’s only in my head (I want it written down, but life is busy), it will be better than whatever half-formed fog I delivered this week.

2. Start the session properly.

Gather the group. Explain the plan. Ask if everyone is OK. (It matters. They might be carrying their own stuff, just like I am.)

3. Stick to technical coaching.

No emotional phrases. No vague comments.

4. Positive reinforcement.

Real, specific, meaningful feedback. Not “your arms are bent”—useless. But “try to straighten your arms,” which gives direction.

And always the sandwich:

something they did well → what to correct → something else they did well.

Even tiny positives count. Sometimes the effort itself is the win. But when the positive is tied to something tangible, something they struggled with last week, it lands better.

This isn’t life or death. It’s tumbling. Positivity creates better athletes than negativity ever will.

The part I wish I’d handled differently

At the end of the session, I said something I regret.

I blurted out that I was done with babysitting and done with “realigning attitudes.” Horrible phrasing and Not who I want to be as a coach. There is a certain amount of training attitudes every coach needs to do.

What I meant was:

If you turn up to training, turn up ready to train. Because sometimes one or two people can drag the whole group down. Some kids work hard no matter what—they’re immune to the chaos. Others… not so much.

I should’ve communicated that better. I know I should’ve. My frame of mind stopped me. Again. On me.

But

I can still show up better next session.

I can structure things clearly. Lead calmly. Coach technically instead of emotionally. With a plan. With patience. With actual coaching.

And hopefully, with a clearer head.

Thanks for reading! Till next time.